Day 46

7 Mar

My worst class to date. I hate even trying to re-live the awfulness but since it was bound to happen sooner or later, here goes.

Mistake #1: Drinking on Friday night. I don’t know why L and I got it into our heads that we were going to drink heavily on Friday night, but I’m assuming it started sometime after L had a glass of wine before bikram. I was up WAY too late, and didn’t even bother to drink a glass of water before bed.

So I head to 10am class with L and my roommate W, and am feeling pretty loopy still (to the point where I didn’t even want to drive fearing my BAC). The instructor was Maria again and I warned her before class that I was not in tip-top shape. Hoping to motivate myself to sweat out the night before, I…

Mistake # 2: placed my mat in the front on the room. Why I thought this was a good idea, I’ll never quite understand. As class started, I slowly felt my body start to fall apart piece by piece. By the fourth pose, I was sitting out every other pose. By pose five I was laying on the floor. My heart was beating on my face and I was having a pretty intense anxiety attack. I would get up to try a pose, get through a quarter of it, and then have to lie back down. I knew that this class was a lost cause. Even worse, I felt like my inability to make it through class negatively affected the people in back of me. At one point, nearly the entire side of the room I was on ended up sitting or laying down. I’ve really never experienced this.

As the floor series rolled around I really started to panic. I was seeing spots in my left eye so big that I had about 5% vision. I needed to get out. I looked over at L and she told me to count my breaths and relax. I tried but it wouldn’t work. Finally, I grab my water bottle and bolted for the door. I felt so incredibly weak and upset with myself, but damn did it feel good to be out of that class. Me and Jameson are breaking up. I NEVER want to feel like that again.


Saturday morning’s class reinforced what I’ve been thinking lately: I’m really good at drinking while yoga-ing. Friday night was an unnecessary mess that I’ll blame on C’s new boyfriend Jameson. Lucky for me, I’m not a hungover sleeper, so I woke up an hour before class and drank a ton of water and had some fruit. I, per the usual, wasn’t excited for class, but followed C’s cue and stood in the front row. And I feel bad saying it considering C and W’s bad class, but I had a really good class.

Class was the usual Saturday shitshow: tons of newbies, people dropping like flies, and the occasional run for the door. At one point, there were only 2 people standing in my half of the room- it was insane. Because C and W were both lying down (believe me, I feel their pain….I was just there 2 weeks ago. Feeling like you’re going to puke in class is one.of.the.worst.feelings.EVER.) I wouldn’t let myself sit down at all. When there are new people in the class, they tend to watch whoever is in front, and I wanted to be a decent example.

It definitely wasn’t my best class, but I was proud of myself for not quitting. I’ve been so apathetic towards bikram lately- half-assing poses, glaring at anyone I think is annoying, I was even somewhat rude to an instructor the other day- it’s nice to finally feel myself climbing out of my rut. I hope my classes continue to get better- we’re done 2 weeks from today!!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: