Day 54

14 Mar

Day 54 will go down as the day I had a “bikram breakdown.”  I woke up to gorgeous weather on Sunday, went to a bridal show with my engaged friend (yummy champagne and cupcakes!), had a huge late lunch (yummy again!), had a tiny cheese and wine tasting with my roomie (so much yum!), and then went to the 6pm class. (For the record, I know this wasn’t the best prep…but I’m sick of planning my life around yoga).  C and another challenger were doing a double and I stood somewhat close to both of them, thinking that I would feel stronger since it was my first class that day.

Wrong.  Very, very wrong.  From the first breathing exercise I felt off.  My legs were shaking, I was pouring sweat (even fell out of Eagle pose because I didn’t expect my legs to be that slippery!), and I couldn’t focus on my breathing. I started to panic around the 4th pose and sat down over and over.  It was SO HOT in there!  The heat was radiating off of everything: my own body, my mat, even my water bottle was on fire.  And the instructor was talking so much.  Talk talk talky talk blah blah dumb story blah blah talk talk.  I couldn’t handle it.  I was making faces, gasping for air, HATING the fact that today was only day 54 and not 60.

When I started crying at the beginning of Camel pose, I knew I crossed to the dark side.  I don’t like bikram yoga anymore.  I don’t like this challenge anymore.  I can’t handle doing the exact same 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises.  I need to do something, anything different.  I’m over it.  Done.


I did my first double today! Back to back! Here’s what went down:

Class 1: My roommates came along for my first class, and we had a new instructor, who just so happened to be a drill seargent.  But he didn’t bother me, so I didn’t care. The room was HOT!  But it felt great 🙂  I surrendered to the fact that I would be in the room for a long long time and ended up just taking each moment for what it was and pushed myself through class without taking a break.  By the time class was over, I felt excited to see what my body would be capable in a consecutive class.  There was another challenger who also would be doing a second class, so it was nice to have company in my impending misery.

Class 2: So L showed up (thank gawd), albeit kind of tipsy and overfed, to give me the extra boost I needed to get through my second class!  My attitude was good and I walked into class and immediately wanted to die.  The room HAD NOT cooled down a single degree since the end of the previous class. L checked the temperature and it read 107 before anybody even started gathering in the studio and moving around. This set the stage for what would become a class or pure anarchy.There were 4 challengers in class, myself and L included, one doing her first class of the day and another doing her second.  The one girl also doing a double sat down during the first pose and never got up for the remainder of the standing series. L and I were up and down taking rests during the standing series because it was so flipping hot in there!  I think because I was in class 2/2 I sweat more than I ever had in my entire life and was actually surprised at how inflexible I was.  I was under the impression that I’d be some kind of crazy bendy person by my second class but I just wasn’t 😦  Everybody was dropping like flies throughout the entire first series.

In the mid-class savasana, our teacher told us of the untimely and tragic death of a woman who was well-connected in the yoga community and read a really inspirational quote which included the following:

This lifetime of ours is transient as autumn clouds.
To watch the birth and death of beings
Is like looking at the movements of a dance.
A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky.
Rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain.

So, of course, being the oversensitive over-exerted person I am, I started to cry during savasana.  But this made me think of all of the complaining I do.  With all of the awful things that peolpe have to face every day, this is anything but difficult, instead, I am giving myself a gift of serenity and physical and mental aid every single day.   I also decided that it wasn’t fair to myself to sit out any of the postures for the rest of class.  So I pushed through and finished by first double!




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